Where to begin...

It always seems to happen this way...

I'll write something that I'm fairly proud of and after a couple of days I feel great: I want to be a writer and I've written something, and all that jazz. But that feeling doesn't last, and soon I find myself fretting over another writing project. While I'm fretting, I blame myself for being lazy/untalented/dumb and that burden that I mentioned last week rests upon my shoulders like a linebacker tackling a quarterback. All the quarterback needed to do was to throw the ball (see: write) and he would have had the pressure relieved from him.

It's funny because I tell myself the same thing. "Just start on it now and you'll be fine," I say to myself. But there's another part of me that tells me differently. He tells me that it's not worth writing if I'm not into it, that I should wait and inspiration will come. Then the words will come faster, and it would be a much more efficient use of my time than trying to slog through one uninspired word after another.

But, the problem with that is the inspiration doesn't come. Or if it does, it comes in hours before my deadline, and I'm forced to come up with something that, while inspired, doesn't have enough time to develop into something meaningful.

I have to be honest, I'm not familiar with the idea of "Invention, then Revision" because I feel the need to revise as I write. Revising is a painful process and I tend to do it from the very beginning.

Maybe I'm not as enthusiastic about writing because I remember the pain of revising. Maybe I just need to get over it.