I had a memorable walk around my apartment complex tonight thanks to weed, and I don't even smoke the stuff. It was memorable because, on this occasion, I encountered that sharp, organic smell of marijuana about every third building I walked passed (I started counting when I became aware of its constant presence). I don't think I was ever close enough for a contact high, but regardless I was surrounded by the stuff. And as I made my fourth and fifth rounds, my thoughts turned from the stresses of my day to the moments of my past.
It's known that smell and memory are closely linked, and the distinct odor of the herb certainly triggered the wayback machine in my head. I didn't think of past times that I was exposed to weed, though. Rather, the fact that I was inundated with the scent placed my mind to other moments when I was surrounded by smell. It took me back to places like Corona Regional Medical Center, where the sterile molecules from ammonia and alcohol visited my hospital bed while I was recovering from a ruptured colon. My memory took me even further back into the 80's, to the 7-11 near Heideman Elementary, where the scent of particleboard and silicon enticed me to put quarters into the Commando arcade cabinet.
My strongest memories came from presents, especially the electronics. The mixture of foam and shrink wrap had warped my brain forever as I opened the packaging of my Nintendo Entertainment System. It may have been that my excitement for the machine caused my brain to openly accept the petroleum molecules, cementing it in the foundation of my psyche. I believe this to be true, as I experienced the same emotions when I opened up my SNES and Playstation in subsequent years.
It's almost funny how easily I can elicit this euphoria; just buy an expensive gadget and open it. But it's also scary how automatic it is. I'm a reactive creature, being human and all, so it isn't too surprising that I'm a slave to this trigger. Advertisers run their business on this fact, and exploit our irrational processes to great effect.
But I think I can use this seemingly out of control behavior for my own purposes. Maybe a walk through Heritage Park or a hike up Skyline Drive would trigger emotions or memories that can push me into more positive behaviors. As a person who suffers from depression, I know living in a negative environment invokes a sense of despair that encourages dire thoughts and actions. The opposite must be true. Actually, I know this is true, and research has been done on it (look up Cognitive Behavior Therapy for some of the results of such research). I still think this idea is worthy of an experiment, if at least to convince my monkey brain that the research applies to me too.
But for now, it's late and time to relax. I'm pretty happy with the inspiration the weed at my apartment complex has brought to me - and I was freaking sober the whole time to boot.
